


Mephisto's Nightmare Before Renaissance

by SuperiorDimwit



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Felix Culpa, Gen, Halloween, Nightmare Before Christmas References, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 19:52:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8414551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperiorDimwit/pseuds/SuperiorDimwit
Summary: Halloween special! Last time Mephisto was in Assiah was Antiquity: when he returns it's the Middle Ages. He is confused.





	

**Author's Note:**

> When Katou named Loke as one of Mephisto's aliases it opened up a whole new realm of speculation. Remember who got in trouble for the death of Baldr? Loke. And the time he spent chained in the underworld overlaps neatly with the time between Antiquity and the Middle Ages. To be fair to the Middle Ages, they weren't as miserable as we usually picture them. But they sure didn't hold the splendour of Hellas and Rome either. Can you imagine the befuddlement of someone who left during Antiquity and then came back to the Middle Ages?
> 
> This bit of dumbassery was brought to you by Dimwit and beta-reader Fox, who like to call themselves **Felix Culpa** when they co-write to this extent.

What's this?  
There's sickness everywhere  
What's this?  
There's mucus in my hair

What's this?  
I can't believe my eyes  
This is a nightmare  
Wake up, Meph, this isn't fair  
What's this?

What's this?  
What's this?  
There's something very wrong  
What's this?  
There's people getting hung

What's this?  
The streets are lined with  
Dirty beggars coughing  
Everything just seems so crappy  
Have I possibly gone daffy?  
What is this?  
What's this?

There's children dragging corpses  
With maggots in their heads  
They're busy digging graves  
But there's way too many dead

There's waste on every doorstep  
Oh, I can't believe my eyes  
And gods, my nose, what is that stench  
That's coming from inside?

Oh no  
What's this?  
They're hanging by their toes, amiss  
Why that is… quite unique, and dire  
They're gathering around to hear confession  
Roasting Cathars on a fire  
What's this?

What's this?  
It seems this woman is on trial, how weird  
They think she is a witch  
But why?

They're stripping her to naught but naked skin  
They say her soul is black with sin  
And now they toss her in the moat  
All just to see if she will float

This is so wrong  
This is so wrong  
Oh what the devil did I miss?  
What's this?

Oh my, what now?  
The people are afraid  
They hope, that God comes to their aid  
No fun, get on your knees do as they're saying  
just keep praying, choke on rigid Bible rules  
while longing for the Heavens

What's this?

The thinkers are all missing  
And the artists can't be found  
And in their place there seems to be  
Suppression all around

Instead of songs, I swear  
I can hear screaming in the air  
The toxic dust of lime  
is absolutely everywhere

The sights! The sounds!  
They're everywhere, and all around  
I've never felt so sick before  
The smell alone is killing me, I might throw up  
This madness has gone far enough

I hate it, oh, I hate it,  
Oh, I want to burn it down  
I've got to know, I've got to know  
What happened here while I was gone?

WHAT. IS. THI–?!

*BANG*

When performing mind your pace  
or greet the gallows with your face  
A swirly turn, a great big thud  
and down he falls into the mud

And now we've reached  
the end of it  
Jester Fox and Knight  
Dimwit  
hope you liked our little scene  
and wish you Happy Halloween

**Author's Note:**

> The idea may have originated something like this:
> 
>  _xD so THAT's how Mephisto got his [dance] moves_  
>  evolved through years of avoiding icky stuff
> 
>  _xD Headcanon accepted. Dear lord especially if he lived in Europe in earlier centuries. So unsanitary._  
>  xDD Mephisto was NEVER the gentleman who used his coat to grant a lady safe passage over a puddle!
> 
>  
> 
> _He'd just poof her across... And then she'd throw up_
> 
>  
> 
> _On his shoes. xD_
> 
>  
> 
> _xDDD Those legends saying he was singing/reciting and dancing... He was just doing some sort of Jack Skellington routine around everything disgusting while voicing his repulsion_
> 
>  
> 
> _AHAHAHAHAHHAHA_
> 
>  
> 
> _"What's this? There's sickness everywhere- What's this? There's mucus in my hair-"_


End file.
